Part 1: Love is your Natural State
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light” ~Albus Dumbledore
The Perfect Day
Can you recall a moment when all was right with the world?
That moment on a beautiful spring day where there is seemingly no temperature, it is neither hot nor cold. You feel happy and at ease as the sun shines and birds chirp. You hear kids playing and laughing and you know life is filled with joy. This is your natural state. This is where you can live year round if you decide to see love in yourself and others every day, rain or shine.
There was a similar perfect day outside when I was 13 standing in the kitchen with my Mom. I was at a school I didn’t like and had some good friends but also was teased by a group of other boys. Not hardcore bullying that so many kids experience today, but it did make me feel bad. Thank God my Mom always had an open ear, an open heart and open arms waiting for me.
As my Mom listened, I heard the younger neighborhood kids outside laughing and playing. It was dusk so they hurried home before it was dark. I burst into tears as I heard the laughter from those kids without a care in the world in their natural state. It was undoubtedly adolescent hormones and built up teenage angst coming out, but it was certainly a memorable coming of age moment. I recognized then that the blissful innocence of childhood had ended and that the responsibilities and challenges of teenage life were upon me. I thought then that there was no going back to that state of bliss.
Instead of listening to my inner voice that was so happy and filled with such hope and love, I was listening to voice of the world. I loved politics and world events and was a news junkie back then. From bullies to the negative inputs from the news, I was being taken from my natural state and that was a cause of sadness. That’s why I wanted to return to the joy of those kids playing outside with blissful ignorance.
That age of innocence is always available for all of us to access though. It is not just reserved for small children. What I did not realize at that point, was that you always have a choice to choose your outlook. I was choosing to be sad and worried about the unsettling demands of teenage life.
It is important to note that this was before cell phones, cyberbullying, TikTok, fentanyl, and school shootings. My 2 teenage boys have far more negativity in today’s world competing for their attention than I did. The stress of modern teenagers is horrific, and they are being so far removed from their natural state.
You’re a 3 year old
Last night before I wrote this, my 3 year old daughter Gloria, who looks a lot like Cindy-Lou Who and talks like a Minion was sitting on the couch watching Paw Patrol. I went over to give her silly kisses on her head and tickle her feet. Loving the attention and play, she jumped off the couch and said, “getchu” (get you), meaning she wanted me to say “I’m gonna get you” and start chasing her.
As Gloria giggled full belly laughs while wobbling along with her full body run, which in her mind was Usain Bolt’s Olympic sprint, I chased after her hands raised like I was about to get her.
There it is! That’s it, I thought!! Eureka moment!!! That is our natural state. To be in joyful bliss, playing, having fun with those we love. Doing what we love. Experiencing the joy of a giggling 3 year old.
Gloria has not been trained by the world to be fearful, or second guess herself or be consumed by phones or bills or the judgments of others. As an adult, emails, work deadlines, parenting, bills due, addiction to phones and substances, the news and negative people do not have to take us from our natural state.
A giggling 3 year old is your natural state. Look in the mirror and remember that you were a 3 year old once and you are still that same person. See and love the small child inside you. She did not go away. He is still inside you. He or she did not die at 12 and reincarnate as an adult with no recollection of joyful bliss. It’s always inside you, you just have to decide to access it again.
Look in the mirror and see the silly 3 year old that is still inside you. Make a silly face and say I love you to him or her. See that child with joy. You are still that child. You can decide to be in that natural state and you can go back at any age and achieve every dream you dreamt as a child. The silliness and fun you felt as a 3 year old is what it feels like to be alive. Not when you look at your phone or get drunk or high or yell at someone who cut you off or feel the stress of work and bills. Those are altered states. Those are artificial states created by the world you live in.
Our natural state is Love
Even when faced with illness we can feel complete love for ourselves and heal faster. Even when someone is cruel to us, we can feel complete love and forgive them. In fact, that is the only way to heal ourselves from the wounds inflected on us by those that hurt us. Even when we lose a loved one and are stricken with grief, we can feel complete love and gratitude for the time we had with them.
When my mom died too young at 53, I was in my senior year of college. She had been my source of love, encouragement, and inspiration. The first thought I had early that fateful morning right after my Dad called from the hospital was thank you God for giving me the gift of her beautiful light. Yes, I mourned for years after. And yes tears rolled down my face even 20 years later because I was sad that she wasn’t there as a grandmother for my kids. They would have loved her and she would have loved them. But that sadness was always with love and gratitude for what I did have, not what I lost.
Our natural state of love should extend beyond just our family and friends, but to everyone. As Dr. Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi taught us, Love everyone, even those that hate you. Love your enemies as yourself.
Gandhi said,
“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.”
And in the words of Dr. King,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
They both referenced the teaching of Jesus in Matthew,
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”
If we have the power within us to love everyone, even those that have hate in their hearts, we have the power to see love in ourselves and live the beautiful life that we see inside ourselves. Don Miguel Ruiz shows us in The Four Agreements that it is possible to overcome all challenges we use as excuses, to overcome the stories we have told ourselves, to overcome what holds us back from realizing our dreams:
Imagine living your life without fear of expressing your dreams. You know what you want, what you don’t want, and when you want it. You are free to change your life the way you really want to. You are not afraid to ask for what you need, to say yes or no to anything or anyone.
You can live in the state of grace, the state of bliss, the dream of heaven. But in order to experience this dream, you must first understand what it is.
Only love has the ability to put you in that state of bliss. Being in bliss is like being in love. Being in love is like being in bliss. You are floating in the clouds. You are perceiving love wherever you go. It is entirely possible to live this way all the time. It is possible because others have done it and they are no different from you. They live in bliss because they have changed their agreements and are dreaming a different dream.
Knowing this is all possible and that it is love that has the ability to take us to this state, what is preventing us from being in that state? Can’t we just snap our fingers and be in that state? Well, yes, that is possible. And it is a great way to start, but ultimately, we need to get rid of what prevents us from this blissful destination.
You can drive directly to your destination, but many of us get distracted. There is always a distraction or an off ramp that keeps you from driving directly down the highway to your dreams with the top down and your favorite song playing. Phones, alcohol, drugs, social media and negative news are distracting us from getting quickly to our destination. We are distracted drivers on our own journey. We take detours, we are driving under the influence.
We do not have to drive distracted or under the influence of this unnatural world. We can live in our natural state of love, happiness, and bliss. This is a choice. We create our own reality. I know this is true because I have changed my reality and decided years ago to see love and light in myself and in everyone and everything I am aware of.
Is this automatic? No, it takes conscious effort. But as soon as you decide that you are ready to return to your natural state, to be as free and happy as a 3 year old, you can start living in bliss. How do I know this is possible? Because I have been living this way for a few years now. With some practice and following some of the tips I have written about in other articles, you can live the life of your dreams by being in your natural state.
Over the next few weeks, we will discuss what takes us from our natural state and discuss the path to your destination of love, happiness and bliss.
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