As summer ends and we head into the new school year and back to work, many of us are starting new adventures.

This fall some folks are starting new schools or new jobs or living in a new city or settling into a new relationship after a summer wedding or finding summer love.

For most of us these new journeys may be a dream come true and the next big step in our growth. Yet, as we settle into fall and routine, it may feel uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.

Change is hard!

Transitions are difficult, even if you are doing what you have dreamt of doing.

But you can’t go back. You must move on and persevere. Pining for the past or returning to what you knew well will not get you to the next level in your life.

Staying stuck and continuing to do what you have always done will not help you grow and live as your true self. Henry Ford said,

“Doing what you have always done will get you what you’ve always got.”

You took this bold action to start a new journey, to see who you truly are and to live as your true self. Do not give up or get despondent if it gets tough, as growing into your true self takes time and patience.

The last 2 weeks have seen some of the biggest transitions in my life and that of my wife and kids. A month ago, we decided to live the life of our dreams and move to Vermont. We go there in the summer and each summer, we talk about staying. Well, this year we decided to make it happen.

It was a whirlwind as we rushed to set up residency to register kids for school. The challenge is that my wife has a job in NJ as a teacher and couldn’t just leave her best friend and co-teacher hanging. So, she is working there during the week with our 3-year-old and driving up here on the weekends. While I and 3 other kids started school in Vermont. It is a challenge being apart and raising kids in different locations together. But it is temporary and a part of the transition.

Similarly, my 15 year old son started boarding school abroad as a freshman in high school. This was his dream and the life he wanted, so we helped him make it happen. It has been a total culture shock and he has struggled with getting settled. For the first week and a half, he has pled with me to bring him home. Not that he is homesick, but he does not like the school or kids at all.

For my son, this is the opportunity of a lifetime and after 1 week, he wants to leave his dream behind because getting settled is hard. His reasons are his own, as it is very personal and I will not share it, yet it is our outlook that determines our happiness. We cannot give up when things get hard.

Living the life of your dreams and living as your true self isn’t just flipping a switch. When you set big dreams, you don’t just wake up one day and they are achieved. It takes uncomfortable action, learning and feeling out of sorts.

“It’s okay to be a glowstick, sometimes we need to break before we shine.”

I know that when I have started a new school or started a new business or even welcomed a new child, the initial excitement is so invigorating. You tingle with excitement as you get going or pack or head home from the hospital with a new baby.

But then reality sets in.

The people or classes at school aren’t what you thought.

Getting customers is more challenging than anticipated.

The baby crying keeps you up all night.

Becoming your true self is hard.

Starting new journeys is exciting when you make that decision to begin, but it gets tough real quick. That is why most people stay stuck and don’t try new things or shoot for big impossible goals.

Because growing into your true self takes courage, perseverance and fortitude.

But who you become in the process is worth the struggle. To become your true self, you have to face obstacles and find your way around them.

That is how you succeed in school.

That is how you grow your business.

That is how you become a better parent.

That is how you become a great athlete.

You do not give up!!

As Mel Robbins said,

“Life is gritty and hard and then suddenly it is brilliant and amazing”.

It is in those gritty and hard times when most people give up. That is why most business’ fail. Having been an entrepreneur for the last 17 years, there are a thousand times when I could have given up. As a parent of 5 kids, there are countless times when I felt that I couldn’t do it anymore.

When you are becoming your future self it feels like everything is going wrong. It is because you are taking bold action and it is uncomfortable to become who you are meant to be. It is uncomfortable to leave your past behind. But that is where you grow into your future self.

This is proof that you are becoming your true self. Letting go of the past and what you are comfortable with takes time and as you do so, it feels like you are failing, because you have new expectations for yourself.

You get all jazzed up for a new job, a new school, a new relationship and then you find that it isn’t all perfect. But that is not the time to give up. It is the time to stay focused on your true self. To remind yourself of your goals and long-term vision for your life. Celebrate all the progress you have taken to get you to this next step.

You can’t build an amazing life staying in your comfort zone. In the immortal words of Nelson Mandela, who lived fully through struggle and triumph,

“There is no passion in playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

You are capable of living an extraordinary life. Make it big and keep going with that bold vision for your life. It is your true self that sent you on this new journey.

Do not give up.

Sinking back into what you know or craving things to be like they used to be will keep you stuck in the past and in old patters.

It is time to grow.

It is time to thrive.

When things don’t feel right, it is not that they are wrong, it is that it takes time to get comfortable with your future self. It takes time to figure out who you are and what you are meant to do in this world. It takes time to settle into your true self.

Just like you don’t just show up at a new job ready to run the company. Or you don’t just start a relationship and have your whole life planned out together. Or you don’t have a new baby and know exactly what to do.

It takes time to settle into your true self.

It takes time to grow and learn.

But if you stay focused on sticking to your goals and keeping your vision uppermost in your mind, you will get there. And what seemed challenging at first will seem easy. What seemed dark and impossible will be light and achievable.

I am with you on your new journey and celebrate the bold steps you have taken to grow into your true self. Keep going and do not stop. Because you bold beautiful true self awaits you on the other side of your struggle.

As Gary Kadi teaches us, do not let those ANTs or Annoying Negative Thoughts, creep in and tell you that this isn’t going to work out. Keep the light within you that guided you to this new place.

This fall let your light shine brightly. Even when you don’t feel it, keep shining. In the words of Gandhi ,

“We shut our eyes to that burning pillar of fire in front of us.”

That is your higher power directing you were to go. Open your eyes and see the light that has brought you on this new journey. It won’t always be perfect or as expected, but it is your mindset that will determine who you become in the process.

Embrace the new challenges with excitement and keep your heart filled with joy. For you are becoming your true self.

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